Saturday, August 9, 2008

no time for polaroids

So I haven't been writing lately because I haven't had time to do anything that I do for myself. The podjob has been very stimulating. Like prolonged electroshock therapy. Or having day-old bruises punched.

Actual-eye, I haven't written since kino kabaret. Fun, but not as cool as last time, when I met all the punk monk crew. This time was far more intense, making more, but (for me, anyway) making less, because what you create isn't really of quality when you have less that 40 hours to produce something and you decide that working that week would be an awesome idea. I was more burn out than fire of inspire. But the up-side was that I got to work with a bunch of different people every day, so at least I met up with some great people. The parties were rad.

We had a housewarming. Lara nearly called the law on Kaitlyn. Sometimes I feel like the babysitter and I need to stop taking on guilt when other people are creating very bad vibes. I've just been so on edge because of podjob pressure that I can't take shit from friends, and my skin is thinning with every hour I don't spend in bed. Not fair to everyone around me, because I don't even have the energy to get mad, I just feel real hurt and walk away real sad about how selfish people can be. Which doesn't make the world better in any way, and I'm just as bad as them for being silent. That's not all about my flatmates, by the way. It's about everyone, everywhere. I just can't cope with humans the last few weeks.

My mind feels really disconnected from my surroundings at the moment, and I'm ignoring all my body's pleas to slow the motherfucking train down. I need a break. Need to go to the desert and scream into the sand.

In some good news, we got shortlisted for the experimental witch. Would love to show you the trailer, but AJ won't give me the link because he thinks it looks so shit in 4:3. So in twelve days of finger crossing, we should know our fate on that one.

Did have time for just one polaroid. I envy Raen's bejewelled camera that develops so magically in front of your eyes. Images without screens are so human. In the good way.

2 comments:

lunaminor said...

ah, that's fucked up. just as you were commenting in my journal, i was reading yours.

spooky, right.

you can make up all the names for my cat that pleases your cold, dark, cat hating heart.

i wish i could come to brunch.

p.s. share housing can blow, but it can also be the bestest.

*sympathetic smile*

as for people in general, they can blow too.

aart hilal said...

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Aart